So many of my clients who have had the misfortune of being in a romantic relationship with a narcissist most definitely possess the qualities of high emotional IQ. By that I mean, often targets of malignant narcissists imbue the highly sought after qualities of authenticity, integrity, compromise, accountability, empathy, reciprocity and the capacity to love on a mature level. An emotional abuser actually seeks to entangle him/herself with love objects who possess the very personality characteristics they are lacking.
10/3/2017 08:38:37 am
My sister was a psychopath narcsiist and i came dependent of her and she bought grocereis for my and I hardly could pay the bills anymore. It was very exhausting to deal with it every day after work was done and y sister came here I could hear outragious rages with anger deliberate about small little things I did wrong. I did nothing good andhow hard i tried.and again and again. I got trembling hands and nausea of it and it was paralizing to work with. I lost the grip over my life.
3/3/2019 09:27:47 pm
Shifting the blame to another person is a very toxic trait to have. I know a lot of people who do this kind of things. I think that people who do this kind of stuff are those who are very manipulative. I cannot really bring myself to list names, but most of the people I know are capable of doing this. I do not really get why people do it though, is it really that hard to admit your mistakes?
12/19/2017 11:39:27 am
I sincerely hope you are getting the support and counseling you deserve. Well wishes - Andrea
6/4/2018 03:19:19 pm
I just experienced narcissistic projection from a female I’ve known for 6 years (my friends ex wife). After spending a lot of 1 on a time together (post divorce), I was driving and being cordial and she turned to me and said “no-sex, because of our friendship”. We weren’t even on that topic. Then, she stopped addressing me by my first name in public and would instead use “friend and buddy”. We had natural chemistry and I was always cordial before that, I never threw myself at her or asked for sex, but it came up in the form of a boundary and then she marginalized me by no longer addressing me on a first name basis (especially in front of new people). She treated me like all I was interested in was sex. A lot of women treat men this way, like all we want is sex. It’s projection, especially when they give a nickname that relates to their incompatible way they treat you and no longer use your first name. She eventually asked me what I thought about her dating profile, and then she wanted for me to meet with the random guys she dates. Months later she invites me to her birthday and says, “but I know you won’t want to come” that is because she just got into a biracial relationship and wanted to put it in my face. Not just men are narcissistic and projection is widely used on men when it comes to blaming us for being sex crazed.
6/4/2018 03:29:35 pm
And I’ll add that her projection and the name calling created a huge unbalance in our “friendship”. I had no control over the “friend” and “buddy” name calling, it just kept coming, and I was sex crazed for wanting to be romantic. This is after she used my first name for several years when addressing me.
3/11/2022 09:38:47 pm
This article is interesting and useful. Thank you for putting this together.
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Andrea Schneider, MSW, LCSW